America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I always try to address where I am. I'll talk to the people and try to find out what it is about… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.' — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I do think it's perfectly natural and human to want to invest belief in something. It's just a facet of who we… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I know there's similar dissatisfaction in America. There's a lot of white people who come from blue collar backgrounds and who feel… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
A lot of the fiction I read growing up was post-war American, and not all of it centers on Manhattan, but around… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I find it incredibly boring when people are mean about some individuals, especially if the individual has no power. I can understand… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I have to say, as much I am respectful of people's faith and the idea of it being necessary for them, but… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
People do need a social license to go, "Ha ha ha," and have a good time. It's a strange thing. There's a… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Stand-up came naturally to me because people in Ireland talk. But that's not talking on panel shows; it is structured fun. It… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Home gigs can be hard because it's an odd collision. More than anything, I feel self-conscious when my family are in the… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it; how much shared there is in it. If… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I just wish I had longer. It's very frustrating. As you know, to people over here, cities like [Washington] D.C. are iconic.… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, "Don't go outside! Or… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You're never going to go. Why would you go? It's a disgusting place. It's always wet even when it's dry. There's nothing… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I would never really analyse what I do. I leave that to other people - I'm not a critic. I just want… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'm really not big on nationalism, to be honest with you. I really don't think it gets people anywhere except near a… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
As an Irish person, there's a historical fascination with America: America is the default green and promised land for Irish people and… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It's such a bullshit move. Transparently so. It's obviously supposed to give succor to people who feel pissed off because someone from… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter; it was very important. When… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I wouldn't be in a huge hurry to go back to Kansas. It was just bizarre. There's a lot of very, very… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
![“[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1cd/dylan-moran-1716_adulthood_adulthood-feels-like-walking-around-in-t_74575.jpg)
![“I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected to it. It's a super-organism of the American state. But there's also a parallel city in there where normal people live.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/f90/dylan-moran-1716_administration_i-ll-have-to-look-into-washington-d-c-a_520706.jpg)
![“I just wish I had longer. It's very frustrating. As you know, to people over here, cities like [Washington] D.C. are iconic. We know them so well. It's very frustrating to be in one of them for 36 hours and have a show to do because you can't really do anything.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/758/dylan-moran-1716_cities_i-just-wish-i-had-longer-it-s-very-frust_1798511.jpg)
![“The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after the election when [Donald] Trump is no longer in the picture. God, I can't wait for that. I hope he just goes away.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/134/dylan-moran-1716_election_the-sensible-thing-for-everyone-to-do-wo_176038.jpg)
