I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.' — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
As an Irish person, there's a historical fascination with America: America is the default green and promised land for Irish people and… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I wouldn't be in a huge hurry to go back to Kansas. It was just bizarre. There's a lot of very, very… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You're never going to go. Why would you go? It's a disgusting place. It's always wet even when it's dry. There's nothing… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'm really not big on nationalism, to be honest with you. I really don't think it gets people anywhere except near a… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I would never really analyse what I do. I leave that to other people - I'm not a critic. I just want… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't mind most religious people, I talk to them. I listen to them, you know, banging on. "I prayed very hard… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It's such a bullshit move. Transparently so. It's obviously supposed to give succor to people who feel pissed off because someone from… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter; it was very important. When… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Of course people are angry. Generation upon generation had jobs at steel mills or whatever - things were going on and it… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
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