I like silly things. I think that "silly-stupid" or "stupid-smart" might be my philosophy, which is to combine a veneer of intelligence… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh,… — Alonzo Bodden Copy Share Image
There's that great Irish joke: a man is lost in the countryside, stops a passer-by: 'how do I get to Dublin?'. The… — Tim Crane Copy Share Image
Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said.… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
There's two types of hecklers. If someone says something really funny it's normally them heckling as part of the show. They're trying… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
The act of sex, gratifying as it may be, is God's joke on humanity. It is man's last desperate stand at superintendency. — Bette Davis Copy Share Image
Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because… — Patrice O'Neal Copy Share Image
The greatest part of each day, each year, each lifetime is made up of small, seemingly insignificant moments. Those moments may becooking… — Barbara Coloroso Copy Share Image
Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was… — Marcus Brigstocke Copy Share Image
My cock got caught in my zipper today....at least that's what I'm telling my wife when she sees the teeth marks on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't care if my opinion falls on the right or the left. I'm more of what I call a passionate centrist.… — Larry Wilmore Copy Share Image
“They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.” — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
I was given the name by my brother when I was about eleven or twelve years old. He was older than me,… — Ice Cube Copy Share Image
When people become too intense, too serious, they will have trouble in relating to any sort of social game or norm. Perhaps… — Marshall McLuhan Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was really enjoying one of the screenings of 'Beautiful Creatures' and there was this little 14-year-old boy sitting next to me… — Alice Englert Copy Share Image
There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Well had the boding tremblers learn'd to trace The day's disasters in his morning face; Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee… — Oliver Goldsmith Copy Share Image
