2 snakes on FB chat: snake1: fusss snake 2 :fusss . snake1: fusss fusss fusss snake2:fussss fusss fusss . snake1: fussss fusss… — Prateek Jain Copy Share Image
There are a lot of clubs that are like, 'Don't do political jokes because it incites a lot of heckling.' — Michelle Buteau Copy Share Image
3 blonds were driving to Disney World: The sign said 'Disney World Left,' so they started crying, turned around and drove home. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
The jokes that take my last name and equate them to a sex act ... is a really cruel thing to do. — Monica Lewinsky Copy Share Image
He loved me. He'd loved me as long as he he'd known me! I hadn't loved him as long perhaps, but now… — Gail Carson Levine Copy Share Image
Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you have the personalities down, you understand them and identify with them; you can stick them in any situation and have… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
Whether a man chooses to tell the truth in long sentences or short jokes is a problem analogous to whether he chooses… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Most people who seek attention and regard by announcing that they're writing a novel are actually so devoid of narrative talent that… — Paul Fussell Copy Share Image
I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I mean, I'm not exactly sad. But I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh and… — John Green Copy Share Image
Rush hour brings out the worst in some people. They make faces, gesture, yell, call names, bump you with their car, and… — Jennifer James Copy Share Image
Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of… — Isaac Asimov Copy Share Image
My goal is to get on the national team. People joke that we'll be able to go to Beijing in 2008, but… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I did many other things before I ever got into the movies. I've been in so many businesses, it's a joke. All… — Sean Connery Copy Share Image
Blank 1 Told Blank 3 something about Blank 2. Now Blank 2 Is Pissed Because Blank 3 Told On Blank 1. Now Blank 1 Want To Fight Blank 3. — Tee Shepard Copy Share Image
