People are mad a Donald Trump for allegedly making a joke about Megyn Kelly having her period. Trump said, 'Trust me, I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
She said she wasn't afraid of Satan, in fact, she thought he was a joke. She said she'd tear his tail off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What sort of difficulties would happen when people of different cultures try to come together to worship? Tiny little things such as… — Michael Emerson Copy Share Image
I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They make a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you, Harry, it's not all it's cracked up to be. All right, the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I take care of myself, which includes dieting, exercising and minimising stress. I joke that I've been on a diet since 1974,… — Kim Cattrall Copy Share Image
When it comes to your life's work, you can't take yourself too seriously. Even Jesus had an occasional joke with the boys,… — Deacon Jones Copy Share Image
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Where the fuck did that spider just go? An Australian summer musical featuring the hit song I swear I just killed you,… — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
I think it's important to have a good sense of humor and joke around with your kids. That's what I do a… — Stanley Tucci Copy Share Image
I'm here to make people laugh and help them forget their troubles, too! So I just try to bring heart and bring… — Matthew Moy Copy Share Image
I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. I've got no plans to stop doing it. — David Alan Basche Copy Share Image
I was always pretty broad. I've had a couple bad experiences. One time, I showed up late for a gig in Brooklyn… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
Men propound mathematical theorems in besieged cities, conduct metaphysical arguments in condemned cells, make jokes on the scaffold, discuss a new poem… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
I try to be personal, but that's not me, either. What seems to work best, and the tweets I enjoy reading the… — John Cho Copy Share Image
Daughter asks her Mum: Mum, how many kinds of penises are there? Mother smiles and answers: Well dear, a man goes through… — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
