“Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Well we were lucky because we started in Canada where everybody has a sense of humour! We flirted a little while with… — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
Shall we ever live to see the following wise prohibition - the audience is forbidden to smoke and the masters are forbidden… — Savielly Tartakower Copy Share Image
“The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.” — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
“Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
That's what I always liked about science fiction - you can make the world end. Humour is my multiple warhead delivery system. — Gary Shteyngart Copy Share Image
“To start with, I know that the General didn't get on with his son, but seemed to prefer his nephew; I know… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image
“And Talon did not understand – no, strike that, he didn‘t want to understand – why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave… — aggybird Copy Share Image
“The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Do you have any old copies of Dickens? Bookseller: We've got a copy of David Copperfield from 1850 for $150. Customer: Why… — Jen Campbell Copy Share Image
“101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies… — Summersdale Publishers Copy Share Image
“Is your wife the devil? That is the reason the bible says we should cast out devil. Is your husband the devil?… — Patience Johnson Copy Share Image
The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“I'm not tired,I'm just checking my eyelids for holes.It could take a while.” — Suzanne Wright Copy Share Image
“Glenn could see I was bricking it and turned round to me as I sat there, gripping the armrests. "You all right?"… — Paul Merson Copy Share Image
“All of my favourite quotes to live by are in my book, I wrote it for a reason” — Blake Joy Copy Share Image
“When I get free, I believe I'll show you your spine. I'll hand it to you so casually, politely even, as if… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“I have been told by the third grade teacher that my daughter Poppet is reading at middle school level. Yet if I… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“The groom should not see you in the dress just before the wedding, that’s bad luck. You know what’s worst luck? Is… — Hank Moody Copy Share Image
“Dagmar turned when she felt a tug on her sleeve, a human male standing next to her. “Yes?” “Yeah, how much for… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Dear Lord I am tired of forgiving people that offended me. Is there anyway you can fix this people's mind to do… — Patience Johnson Copy Share Image
When you're drowning you don't think, I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“The rabbit is one of the few animals that (de facto) enjoys screwing: after copulating it does a backward flip and drums… — Péter Zilahy Copy Share Image
“Let’s be honest— I think one of you people did this. I think one of your giddy, delusional pals killed Cale and… — Graham Moore Copy Share Image
“The easiest way to make money is to be funny. The easiest way to be regarded as funny is to have money.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Two hours later, a noise resembling a hippo rolling along a corrugated iron roof shook Jane from her doze and Rob bursts… — Dougie Brimson Copy Share Image
“Yes, you can see the bullet points here, here and here, sir; there are multiple back-slashes, of course. And that’s a forward… — Lynne Truss Copy Share Image
“He wondered where his mind had wandered this time, what life it had lived as a trail of neurons sped through networks… — Karl Drinkwater Copy Share Image
“I saved you,” Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of… — Alex Gabriel Copy Share Image
“Queen Bee hates me. I know, as I reach the door, that nothing good waits for me on the other side. When… — John Owen Theobald Copy Share Image
“When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size.” — Diane Messidoro Copy Share Image
“This is the most I have ever been in the sewers in one place. If someone had said to me a month… — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“If aw his hums and haws were hams and haggises, the country wad be weel fed!” — Liz Lochhead Copy Share Image
“Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The environment left fresh memories on my mind and I too, on top of it, left some small quantities of urine at… — Beston V Muzenda Copy Share Image
I get along really well with Lars [von Trier] but definitely during our first meetings I was feeling him out and he… — Kirsten Dunst Copy Share Image
“If it weren’t for supplies, I’d never go back down to town. But a man has to do what a man has… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Simon Pegg is terribly talented, very funny, such a delicious sense of humour. — Christopher Plummer Copy Share Image