“I took your name when I took those vows I meant 'em back then and I mean 'em right now.” — The Band Perry Copy Share Image
Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Your ma's dating?" Tim looks shocked. "I thought she pretty much confined herself to a vibrator and the shower nozzle since your… — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
“He pulled out a dagger from ... she wasn't sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does… — Dianna Hardy Copy Share Image
You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I can’t help but smile when I read that someone was inspired by the voices in their head and how they just… — Angelique Jones Copy Share Image
“Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.” — Robert DeCoteau Copy Share Image
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
There's a long tradition - certainly with country, but in all kinds of genres of music - to have humorous lyrics. Certainly… — Rick Moranis Copy Share Image
“When Uncle W. G. held out his hand to take my money, I dropped the dead mouse in his hand.” — Earl B. Russell Copy Share Image
“I've admired a lot of people in my life time and some of them were actually alive.” — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
The Americans never walk. In winter too cold and in summer too hot. — Jack Butler Yeats Copy Share Image
The persons hardest to convince that they're at the retirement age are children at bedtime. — Shannon Fife Copy Share Image
You spend all your life trying to do something they put people in asylums for. — Jane Fonda Copy Share Image
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it,… — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
“I gave Henry a supscription [sic] to the Book of the Month club that tells you the book you have to read… — Anita Loos Copy Share Image
He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
