A man wears the pants in a relationship but the woman tells the man which pair to put on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The only way to be completely self-consistent is to be constantly uttering paradoxes.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Kit," said a female voice, "what's wrong with the fridge? All the food's gone. No, wait, there's a really ugly alien in… — Diane Duane Copy Share Image
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Stuffed animals are sad and scary; they have humorous and tragic qualities. — Maurizio Cattelan Copy Share Image
“It is sometimes easier to overcome our defeats than it is to overcome our victories.” — C.L. Gammon Copy Share Image
We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here! — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“Why isn’t everyone praying all the time? Who cares why everyone isn’t praying all the time – you pray all the time.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“The autopsy took place in the morning and was the best argument for the buddy systemI had ever seen. Never live alone,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“The cost of living is going up while the chances of living are going down.” — Flip Wilson Copy Share Image
Ya of course we're best friends...You cry I cry, You laugh I laugh, You fall off a bridge I laugh even HARDER.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Never mind what God is doing. What are you doing? That's called interspection.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Awful things, children. Needy, self-centered tyrants, the boys all teeth and firsts, the girls all claws and spit. Gathering into sniveling packs… — Steven Erikson Copy Share Image
Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
“I’d been called a freak, and worse, all through school. Now that I’d finally graduated, I was sick of it. I’d hoped… — E.J. Stevens Copy Share Image
I believe it is tough to be funny and tougher to make people laugh. And it needs to be been done effortlessly.… — Vivek Oberoi Copy Share Image
The films I'm planning and doing are a mix of different things, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop doing… — Varun Sharma Copy Share Image
“Sir, do you know how they were used to fill balloons, and how they now do it?” “No,” said Alverstoke. “I’ve no… — Georgette heyer Copy Share Image
