“Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Love is just the chocolate-coated realization you're going to spend the rest of your life with a person and unfortunately it melts… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It doesn't really matter if you're right wing or left wing....as long you're delicious” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I hate carrying a torch, which is weird because otherwise I'm such a pyromaniac” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“'Having' Your Cake....a little perverted.... 'Eating' it too.....a lot perverted!” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing....” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Treat life as a suicide mission, take on the impossible jobs and attack with the gusto of someone who has nothing to… — josh stern Copy Share Image
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Copy Share Image
“You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
