I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be able to do a bunch of things at once, and not think about things you're not doing while… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Credibility lasts about two cycles of bad material, and then you'll probably never get it back. If you let people down, that's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
The Jackass movies are honestly some of the best movies I've ever seen. I laugh so hard at them. Those guys are… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Rob McElhenney who runs 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' That show absolutely kills me and I am stunned by the consistency of… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
It's hard having kids because it's boring... It's just being with them on the floor while they be children. They read Clifford… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I look around, pretty much 100% of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
