A survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When you work with your hands, you learn to appreciate how easy it is to earn money talking. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Six women have come forward that say Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them without their consent. This proves he would be a hands-on governor. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When you fix something with your hands it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of self worth. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
On Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales raised his right hand, swore to tell the truth, and then everybody had a good… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand while writing in Greek with the other. I would give my right… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts, like new breasts and new hands. It's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Services were held today for Ken Lay - convicted thief and crook Ken Lay.They folded his arms across his chest and sowed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
