I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn't too nice a thing to do. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I?m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'm a huge film star... but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f--ing… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ...… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God,… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
