I'd never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I've been very lucky because I've always had movies to do. So if I got bored between shows a movie would turn… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Well, the film's not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it's pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God,… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image