When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I?m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive,… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I'm desperate to go back. They just take it… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule:… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Well, the film's not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it's pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Braveheart is pure Australian shiteWilliam Wallace was a spy, a thief, a blackmailer - a c**t basically. And people are swallowing it.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'd never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when they look at them. There's… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head -- supposedly for… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I’ve come in and out of America for… well, I’ve lived here for 15 years. And I’ve played here for nearly 30… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God,… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose. — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
![“Well, the film's not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it's pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies. I had never read anything like this until I was doing the film, but Mark [Joffe, the director] and people showed me stuff where, like…” quote by Billy Connolly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/966/billy-connolly-2412_church_well-the-film-s-not-only-pricking-the-po_1074954.jpg)
