Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. Its titled, Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn't be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he's the person I want… — Patricia Arquette Copy Share Image
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the carburettor'. I said, 'Where's the car?' She… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. — Sigmund Freud Copy Share Image
Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. — Russell M. Nelson Copy Share Image
Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then… — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied… — William Cosmo Monkhouse Copy Share Image
Marriage is sanctified when it is cherished and honored in holiness. That union is not merely between husband and wife; it embraces… — Russell M. Nelson Copy Share Image
The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go,… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry,… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
This is getting so weird.. Whom I liked and loved are either married,engaged,interested but emotionally damaged,has kid,not in the mood, and a… — Jaseem Kapoor Copy Share Image
I can't wait to be married. It's going to be so great to find that one special person I want to annoy… — Ana Chable Copy Share Image
Well, you know, the definition of second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. — George Will Copy Share Image
An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce. — Ann Landers Copy Share Image
My wife assures me she didn't sleep with Tiger Woods, but how can I believe her? — Tim Piper Copy Share Image
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… husband!!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. — Russell M. Nelson Copy Share Image
One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
Never forget the nine most important words of any family- I love you. You are beautiful. Please forgive me. — H. Jackson Brown, Jr Copy Share Image
You marry because you lack of judgement, and divorce because you lack of patience, and you remarry because you lack of good… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is a hunting permit that entitles you to only one dear at a time. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Whoever keeps his mouth shut when he realizes that he is wrong is wise and he who holds the mouth even if… — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.' — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always… — Carol Leifer Copy Share Image
There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after… — Helen Rowland Copy Share Image
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
It is now well known, however, that men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married. — C. Northcote Parkinson Copy Share Image
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it. — Heather Locklear Copy Share Image
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I… — Rodney Carrington Copy Share Image
