you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the… — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
The man may be the head of the house, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head anyway… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There comes a time when a man and woman realize that their separate schemes can be better achieved as a conspiracy. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. — Sigmund Freud Copy Share Image
Theres a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. Its called marriage — Superman Copy Share Image
Whoever keeps his mouth shut when he realizes that he is wrong is wise and he who holds the mouth even if… — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life. — David Niven Copy Share Image
The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted. — Kin Hubbard Copy Share Image
Marriagea book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing,… — Andy Rooney Copy Share Image
One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. — Russell M. Nelson Copy Share Image
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it. — Gene Perret Copy Share Image
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred… — Jim Carrey Copy Share Image
One good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you… — Ezra Taft Benson Copy Share Image
Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce. — Joyce Brothers Copy Share Image
