I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. — Lewis Grizzard Copy Share Image
When you develop the ability to listen to anything unconditionally without losing your temper or self confidence, it means you're MARRIED — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life. — David Niven Copy Share Image
True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day. — James E. Faust Copy Share Image
Marriage is give and take. Youd better give it to her or shell take it anyway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted. — Kin Hubbard Copy Share Image
When I get married. WE AIN'T NEVER GETTING A DIVORCE! TILL DEATH DO US PART. better take your mad ass in the… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel - they get to know each other better. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much. — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Theres a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. Its called marriage — Superman Copy Share Image
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows. — Sam Kinison Copy Share Image
I've been divorced twice, at 33, at least I'm a successful failure! — Desmond Fouche Copy Share Image
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions. — Melchor Lim Copy Share Image
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you. — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate. — Dodie Smith Copy Share Image
Just a reminder of MARRIAGE: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master. . — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the… — Bruce R. McConkie Copy Share Image
My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love… — Armistead Maupin Copy Share Image
I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own… — Brendan Behan Copy Share Image
A person who surrenders when hes WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE. A person who surrenders… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other...… — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so… — Minnie Pearl Copy Share Image
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always wrong and the other is the wife... — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women. — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
