Douche: hey Girl: Douche: HEY Girl: What? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick Girl: Excuse me?… — Ella Rojas Copy Share Image
Today makes me want to go to the beach and swim in the water but then again I don't know how to… — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
Have you ever lie so much...you start believing yourself...lol...I swear dis morning I waz like Damn did I really fuck wit Alicia… — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a prossitute for a hug — Zane Raymond Copy Share Image
I just saw a fat girl crying while girls pointed & laughed at her. I thought ,She must be finding it hard… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This global recession has had a detrimental effect on my sex life. It's ages since I've been able to afford it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some of the best and worst lies Ive ever told are excuses for why Im late. — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been invited to a Halloween party tonight in America. To scare all the Yanks, I'm going as low-fat food! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Forgiveness.. It Is The Wonderful Smell That A Flower Gives., When its Being Crushed..!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you follow me & expect a follow back, please do let me know! So I can block you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I drive if you beep your horn 1 second after the light changes green I will shut off my car, lay… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being romantic and being a stalker are pretty much the same thing. The only difference is if it's considered romantic it's because… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
