Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In America, Gay marriage is legal in 6 states. *Okay.. This is fine, a bit amusing though* Having sex with a horse… — Shushi Copy Share Image
It's perfectly legal to be stupid at times but some people just completely take advantage. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Mitt Romney wins this years election, I volunteer as tribute for the Hunger Games. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook is starting to be like my fridge, I know nothing is there but I keep checking it anyway... — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can only hope that they divide us by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory!! That's the power of Smile !! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear people who write on bathroom walls, I don`t care who you love. I`m just trying to pee. -_- — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Yesterday I decided it would be funny to cut in to a box of Christmas crackers and take out all the original… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
If A Couple In Love Are Called Love Birds, Then A Couple Who Have Fought With Each Other Should Be Called Angry… — Anurag Prakash Ray Copy Share Image
Is wondering exactly what the individual who discovered milk was initially doing with the cow.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was little sticking my tongue out was like giving some one the middle finger. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy killed a butterfly, dad saidNo butter for u He killed a honeybee, dad said No honey for u. Mom killed a… — Me Copy Share Image
Yest I climbed up a tree & read out a bird some of my tweets. She looked at me, shook her head… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I drink: 2 Beers: I'm Relaxed and happy 4 Beers: I think my jokes are funny 6 Beers: I suddenly know… — Jamsta E Ngugz Copy Share Image
I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I Miss New York", so I smashed their window and stole their radio. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whew. Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
