Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm much more upset about Breaking Bad's shutdown than about the government's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've always wondered why it's called a walkie talkie, yet a vacuum isn't called a pushy sucky? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Apparently twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah I remember the time when I was a vampire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when a girl can't take a compliment: You're so pretty No I'm not, I'm ugly WELL.. YOU UGLY THEN, DAMN..... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound ass should be in them! — Jerett Parker Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You delete someone off your Facebook because they never talk to you, never comment or like your status and everything, they just… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I aspire to be the beautiful, together person my Facebook profile suggests I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Followers, because calling them The people who are witnessing your failure is too sad. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A man yells at his wife "pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery." "Oh wonderful!" she says, "should I pack… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm bored -> Look at my phone -> No text? Check my twitter -> No mention? Check my Facebook -> No notification?… — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
There are exceptions is new replyback when someone disagree with your tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What if the idea of everything being legal for a night was for real.. I would park in a no park zone… — SouL Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like 'I got nothing, man.' — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Sometimes I'll see a girl jogging that's so sexy, I'll jog directly behind her ass until she gets home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's a nice quote you put as your status... what website you got that one from? — Keano Brin Copy Share Image
Even if women came with Terms & Conditions, you still wouldnt read them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
