Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
How do homeless people always seem to get the shopping cart that has all four good wheels? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Liking the person's last comment on a post instead of replying to it..because,let's face it,your too dwamn lazy to think of something… — Nicole Hill Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when someone farts in the elevator and looks at you to see if you notice :P — Me Copy Share Image
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I miss you when I'm not with you. When I'm not with you all I do is think about you. When I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the TELEPHONE GUY says, Would you like it On the table or against the wall? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels when he… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When I have children I am going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a Boss! — Jorge Armenta Copy Share Image
I'd be a great mattress salesman coz I love removing pants for no reason and spending all day looking at porn. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mom: YOU`RE GROUNDED. Me: Psh. Fine I don`t care. Mom: Give me your phone then. Me: OMG IM SO SORRY MOM I… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, where theres an awkward moment, and everyone knows it's an awkward moment, then somebody says, AWWWKKKKWAAARRDD! — Unkown Copy Share Image
Facebook event invites from people you barely know should really have a 'seriously?' option in the reply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
