Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people come into your life to make you fall in love with songs you had no idea existed — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Ladies, men will listen to all your problems if you learned how to say thank you with a blowjob. — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
My girlfriend took a pregnancy test today, and my worst fears have been realized.. she's just fat.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think I could ever stab someone...I can barely get the straw in the Capri-Sun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How many numbers are in the alphabet... Exactly because that's how many fucks I give! — Marcus Ybarra Copy Share Image
If Shes A Keeper. . . . .Then KEEP Her ! If She's A Freak. . . . .Then FREAK Her. .… — Jason Santana Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My father likes the oldies station, I wonder when I'm over 50 if the oldies station will play Lil Jon & the… — Devin Sanchez Copy Share Image
I tried taking everything in Life with a grain of salt, but after using up two bags of salt, I gave up. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched 'Disney Channel' today, he would cry — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The suite life of Zack and Cody: The only show with a smart blonde and a dumb asian. — JeremySwag Copy Share Image
A teenager's Facebook update: Internet was not working last night, spent time with family.. they seem to be nice people... — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I'm fairly sure that my cute next door neighbor thinks I'm a stalker. She wrote it on Facebook, Twitter and even in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
