Funny Quotes · Page 1,567

Whats the point of that song. I'm fadded? c;

— Anonymous

A lot of comedic things are a real science - comedy has so many layers that I, at least, didn't see before…

— Renee Rapp

I'm a military brat, so I moved around a ton. When you're making friends and you're funny, it makes that easier.

— Natasha Rothwell

If you look good, we look good.

— Vidal Sassoon

Life is God's gift to us. What we do with it is our gift to God.

— A. R. Bernard

Even the fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of not having lived authentically and fully.

— Frances Moore Lappé

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

— Eddie Izzard

Bless your heart, they don't mind--they're exceedingly kind-- They don't blame you--as long as you're funny!

— W. S. Gilbert

Experience alone can decide on truth.

— Albert Einstein

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his…

— Charles Dickens

Big Poppa Pump is your hook up, and the next heavyweight championship of the world!

— Scott Steiner

Comedy is a meritocracy. If you are funny, you are there. If you are not, you are out.

— Kevin Feige

Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you, fool me 45,000 times and your a god damn weather man.

— Anonymous

We shall be judged by what we do, not by how we felt while we were doing it.

— Kenneth Tynan

Things are always at their best in their beginning.

— Blaise Pascal

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

— George Lopez

Learning how to be a good reader is what makes you a writer.

— Zadie Smith

“I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might…

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

How can the Jews be blamed for rejecting what was never offered?

— John Hagee

I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it…

— John Badham

Good architecture lets nature in.

— Mario Pei

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

— Anonymous

Discipline - Success doesn't just happen. You have to be intentional about it, and that takes discipline.

— John C. Maxwell

The show is definitely not just about weight-loss physically. It's more about finding yourself. It's really funny because I realized at one…

— Raven Goodwin

I do not know how to make poems

— Henri Michaux