I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, "This is Beam Me Up." Then to my right. "And this is… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.”… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
