What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
