He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection. I guess that's what I hated about him. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we're not ready. But maybe they'll… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
“And yet the debate was highly informative—if you turned the sound off. The event was broadcast with a split screen so that… — P.J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder if I'm sexy enough. When I walk into a singles bar with my "fashionable" shirt, "fashionable" slacks, and a… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Be proud of your scars. They remind you that you have the will to live. — Paulo Coelho Copy Share Image
Up to now, America has not been a good milieu for the rise of a mass movement. What starts out here as… — Eric Hoffer Copy Share Image
Doing is better than not doing, and if you do something badly you'll learn to do it better. — Twyla Tharp Copy Share Image
“I noticed Xander had subtly adjusted his posture. He slouched slightly to the side, let his head hang, and then looked up… — Adrianne Ambrose Copy Share Image
To us, it might look like just a rag. But to the brave, embattled men of the fort, it was more than… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If you think down, you will go down. If you think up, you will go up. You’ll always travel in the direction… — T. D. Jakes Copy Share Image
During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were "just going down… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like "Hey, when are you going to pay… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If you ever discover that what you're seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I think my favorite monster movie is "Gone With the Wind", because it has that ear monster and that big-dress monster. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I always thought death was cruel, a silent destroyer of breath, of hope, of life. Now I understand it is physical death,… — Stefanie Schneider Copy Share Image
Christianity is not about how much faith you have. It's about Who your faith is in. — Mike Donehey Copy Share Image
And ah for a man to arise in me, That the man I am may cease to be! — Alfred Lord Tennyson Copy Share Image
