People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
I found out I'd spent my whole life believing things that weren't necessarily accurate. My sisters' memories of certain events are entirely different from… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Writers are funny about reviews: when they get a good one they ignore it-- but when they get a bad review they never forget… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
Every once in a while your world stands still... There are certain friendships that are so important they leave a mark on you long… — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house. — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
