My boyfriend not allowed to spray Axe in public. I've seen the commercials them hoes come out. — Caitlin Copy Share Image
Sex is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Somebody asked meh- Broda What is FAce BooK? (earlier it was original, real but now a days its just a Fake- book..isn't?… — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
People who say lying gets you in trouble are liars.. As far as I know.. An honest answer gets u in deep… — SouL Copy Share Image
Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When somebody calls you UGLY, here's what you have got to say: UGLY never starts with 'I' it always starts with 'U'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook is like a relationship: Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their inbox... — Author Name Copy Share Image
I was planning to do something today, but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Would like to remind you that amateurs built the ark professionals built the Titanic — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Dear mark zuckerburg .. Could u kindly change the pokes tab to d I just wanna fuck u tab .. urz truly… — Joey Bones Copy Share Image
I wonder if cats worry about ending up living alone with socially awkward teenagers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
2 Hot 2 Handle; 2 Cold 2 Burn, 2 Young 2 Teach; 2 Old 2 Learn. 2 Hard 2 Bend; 2 Strong… — DeAngelo Stokes Copy Share Image
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I live somewhere between hope and fear. Hope that this time things will be different... and fear that it'll turn out like… — Amanda Mayo Copy Share Image
Shake my hand respect, Shake a girl get loose respect, Shake a baby fuck respect, get your ass fucked up !!! — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I listen to way to much Linkin park but in the end it… — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
