Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Ah, children of the sunlight and the gaslight, how little you know of the world in which you live!” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
