I wish my erection pointed inwards. But it doesn’t, it…

Penis goes in , sperms cums out.

— Nikhil Saluja

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…

— David Wong

“The penis, often regarded as a weapon, is also a burden, the male curse.”

— Gay Talese

“A brick is blocking my urethra. But it’s not painful, because my penis is just that big. 
Oh yes, it’s as big as this…

— Jarod Kintz

“Grab his penis like this, and I guarantee, it’s a done deal.”

— Emily Giffin

He has a toenail on the end of his penis.

— Bill Brasky

I like Penis!

— Charlotte Church

“One-night stands were invented to free men from worrying about the size of their penis. And to free women from worrying about the size…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A penis has a sad life: His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, & his…

— Myself

“The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain of the blood refusing to drain from his penis,…

— Dylan Perry

You can't say Happiness without penis

— Anonymous

“Every time I so much as blink you get an erection.”

— Carla H Krueger

“How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.”

— Jarod Kintz

“No matter the size of your husband's penis, no other woman should know it.”

— Chika Unigwe

“If someone asks you to touch his dick over the cloths and he will pay in return, you won’t, but when you are in…

— M.F. Moonzajer