WIFE, A person who only lasts as long as a marriage -- an ex-wife is forever — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when women say that all men want from them is sex, coz that's bullshit. We want you for blowjobs too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A bargain, and a sensible person understands that someone must get the better of any bargain; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Honey, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can't blame on the government; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I miss you when I'm not with you. When I'm not with you all I do is think about you. When I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On his daughter's diaper: There was so much poop. It didn't look like a baby's poop. It looked like a 55-year-old alcoholic… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The NFL is boring, the NBA is disintegrating, baseball is totally predictable. Maybe we do need the XFL. Maybe we need Nude… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a weird dream last night that I murdered 4 people who unfollowed me on twitter. But woke up relieved to find… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're a person who says Only God can judge me on a regular basis, people are actually judging you a lot… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
