Sarcastic Quotes · Page 17

SARCASM the body's natural defense against stupidity.

— Anonymous

If she was going to die, she might as well die sarcastic.

— Holly Black

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

— Oscar Wilde

When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.

— Anonymous

I didnt change, I grew up you should try it sometimes

— Anonymous

Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking.

— Rupert Hughes

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

— Earl Wilson

Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

— William Dean Howells

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.

— Lee Westwood

Fighting online is so stupid. I mean...What are you gonna do? Busta CAPS LOCK on my ass?

— Stephanie

Do not be conformed to the answer you just being sarcastic. But nothing I can do because thereby you think of me…

— Meicee29

If you're the only one who knows you're being sarcastic, it's not sarcasm, it's masturbation.

— Anonymous

His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue drips poison.

— John Quincy Adams

An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.

— Gene Fowler

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

— Lea Thompson

Cashier: Are you buying these? Me: No, I'm going to steal them, I just wanted to show you first.

— Anonymous

I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's…

— Kristen Bell

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Every single word you have spoken is sharp, sarcastic and twisted. When I thought you were abnormal you suddenly turned out to…

— Jae Hee

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of…

— P. G. Wodehouse

The characters are so flat and the dialogue so dull you expect it to be one of those movies whose existence is…

— Kyle Smith

I've learned that I need to spell out, even in cases seemingly so blatant, that in fact I am not taking this…

— James Fallows

I played a lot of sarcastic, wisecracking characters for a long time, and people would think that was me. And it's very…

— Zooey Deschanel

“Sex is never about getting off. It's a physical form of communication, stripped of the linguistic armor inside of which people cloak…

— Cate Holahan

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

— Josh Billings

Could you please push your seat back more, I really hate leg room.

— Anonymous

If you have nothing nice to say, shut up

— Claire Faustina

I'm nice to the weird kid, so he'll spare my life when he snaps.

— Anonymous

A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

— Tom Waits

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

— Molly Ivins

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

— Hemant Smarty

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

— Ashleigh Brilliant

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

— Jean Webster

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

— George Carlin

[on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

— Billy Wilder

Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father.

— Will Smith

The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

— Zach Galifianakis

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

— Spike Milligan

She's the first in her family born without tail.

— Anonymous

You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!

— Eddie Izzard