I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give… — David Antin Copy Share Image
There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes. — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
I want every idea I have to make me money. I want every post I write to have 10,000 Facebook likes. I… — James Altucher Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My husband jokes that I'll invite people over for dinner and he won't know who they are or where I met them.… — Carrie-Anne Moss Copy Share Image
Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
You watch an old 'Jeopardy!' and the categories alone are very plain. 'Poetry,' or 'Movies,' or 'Physics.' If you watch it now,… — Ken Jennings Copy Share Image
There is no reason for believing that any sort of gods exist, and quite good reasons for believing that they do not… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's so funny?" Bella mumbled. "I got food in her hair," I told her, chortling again. "I'm not going to forget this,… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
When I was in high school, I was dating this girl and wanted to make her birthday really special. I showed up… — Dave Franco Copy Share Image
Anna Petrovna (to Shabelsky): You can't make a simple joke without an injection of venom. You are a poisonous man. Joking apart,… — Anton Chekhov Copy Share Image
I used to see a lot of cocaine. There were journalists who used cocaine and didn't write about it and I didn't… — Cameron Crowe Copy Share Image
Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I'm really sick of people treating me like I am a joke, next time someone play's games they're gonna get chocked. — Amanda Copy Share Image
A lot of the times I'm looking at something that I discover is part of a larger framework and not just a… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share Image
Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I always have humour in my action movies. I think characters that make jokes under fire are more real. It somehow helps… — Shane Black Copy Share Image
Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and… — Matt LeBlanc Copy Share Image
[ The aim to be big] is not a joke about my size. It's just that I'm a dreamer, but I'm following… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Baltimore has been a punchline/punching bag for years - I've landed a few blows, to be fair - but those old jokes… — Laura Lippman Copy Share Image
What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a… — Lewis Carroll Copy Share Image
When Americans, who have no idea who I am, laugh at my jokes, it's exactly the same if someone loves you even… — Gad Elmaleh Copy Share Image
The whole Universe is a large joke. Everything in the Universe are just subdivisions of this joke. So why take anything too… — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
I used to joke about this but I've recently realized that I really believe it: I spent many years training myself to… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the… — Jack Youngblood Copy Share Image
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That’s why I count my blessings / As much as I… — Fabolous Copy Share Image
I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a… — Joe Mande Copy Share Image
If you like quick put-downs and aggressive interactions with the audience, you will probably not enjoy the rambles of an unusual character… — Amy Hoggart Copy Share Image
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Seinfeld has his way of telling jokes - and I'm not comparing myself to Seinfeld, his genius is observing the small details… — Nick Kroll Copy Share Image
Matter of fact, the way we got a path, a great friend, Arlen Specter, I convinced him to switch parties. Not a… — Joe Biden Copy Share Image
Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day. — Seth MacFarlane Copy Share Image
![“[ The aim to be big] is not a joke about my size. It's just that I'm a dreamer, but I'm following through with it. I believe anyone can do it as long as they focus and have a game plan.” quote by Gabriel Iglesias](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/866/gabriel-iglesias-1974_aim_the-aim-to-be-big-is-not-a-joke-about-my_1666524.jpg)
