I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
The joke used to be that in every Indian home, there is the mother, father, children, grandparents, and the anthropologist. — Elizabeth Cook-Lynn Copy Share Image
I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very… — Jensen Ackles Copy Share Image
I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
“Many things have been compared to a brick, mainly as a tribute to their intellect or to their aerodynamic characteristics.” — Sorin Suciu Copy Share Image
When a woman says there in a relationship there friends are like text me I want to hear all about him.. Guys… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times... It's a really… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to… — Kanye West Copy Share Image
I remember the old joke, while women are deciding which schools the kids go to, where you're going to live, how the… — Debra Winger Copy Share Image
“If you’re not interested in me, just tell me. You don’t have to ruin me for all women.” “I’m more about action… — K.A. Tucker Copy Share Image
I remember talking to, 40 years ago, one of the leading people in the government who was involved in arms control, pressing… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
“The Severed Nose. What would you do if you came home one evening and found a severed nose lying on a plate… — Jeff Strand Copy Share Image
The stuff that I'm saying, they're not really traditional, structured jokes. It's not like I'm talking about growing up in Chicago or… — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
Well had the boding tremblers learn'd to trace The day's disasters in his morning face; Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee… — Oliver Goldsmith Copy Share Image
It's like one of those scenes from a feel-good Hollywood movie. Where everybody is happy and nobody's hair fizzes in the wind.… — Randa Abdel-Fattah Copy Share Image
I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
The car emitted on last gasp and rolled to a stop, in the middle of the Altlantic Ocean. "We're here," Leven tried… — Obert Skye Copy Share Image
When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
“Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
All producers encourage you, whatever it is, to make it more-so. If you've got a joke, can it be funnier? If you've… — Walter Hill Copy Share Image
You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help… — Brad Thor Copy Share Image
With comedy, the jokes will come out, and people will see them coming. Changes in daily life or current events can change… — Robert Lopez Copy Share Image
There is a kind of laughter people laugh at public events, as if a joke were a charity auction and they want… — William McIlvanney Copy Share Image
What did the Ocean say to the other Ocean?...Nothing they just Waved...Did you Sea what I did there?...I'm Shore you did! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In real life, I'm the type of girl who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm very serious when it comes to work,… — Gal Gadot Copy Share Image
I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Writers are encouraged to "keep 'em laughing" and complain "with good humor" in order to "win" allies. The joke is always on… — Alice Childress Copy Share Image
Have you ever lived in the suburbs? It's sterile. It's nothing. It's wasting your life, and people do not wish to waste… — Ed Koch Copy Share Image
I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Now, everybody, I suppose, is aware that in recent years the silly business of divination by dreams has ceased to be a… — Arthur Machen Copy Share Image
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, color to enhance your beauty. On his collar, color only a tramp would wear! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them… — Sergio Aragones Copy Share Image
The casting directors that were aware of The Real World looked at me as a joke. It was so hard to get… — Jamie Chung Copy Share Image
