I think sketch writing is a good spot for everyone to start because it requires you to develop characters, have a beginning,… — Blake Anderson Copy Share Image
In Germany, you would be hanged if you cracked a joke about Hitler and you would be killed by the state if… — Werner Herzog Copy Share Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
It’s just what they are — they’re jokes…most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks…I can’t determine what offends another person. — Paula Deen Copy Share Image
Around year seven or eight, you'd kill yourself when you realized Norm had to enter and you had to come up with… — Ted Danson Copy Share Image
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My goal is to get on the national team. People joke that we'll be able to go to Beijing in 2008, but… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is of first-rate importance to notice from the start that stupidity is not the same thing, or the same sort of… — Gilbert Ryle Copy Share Image
My dowry is thirty-five. A year.” His brows climbed. “You’re joking.” “I would never joke about money with a notorious thief. Just… — Shana Abe Copy Share Image
That's what happens with most comedies. If you watch 10 minutes and there's no joke, then you're disappointed because you're expecting jokes.… — Quentin Dupieux Copy Share Image
Nate Silver says this is a 73.6 percent chance that the president is going to win. Nobody in that campaign thinks they… — Joe Scarborough Copy Share Image
Husband : Why did you give so much money to the beggar who was pretending to be blind? Wife : Didn't you… — Syntific Copy Share Image
People really do identify with the characters they see on the show, but these days, social media allows you to interact with… — Chris Carmack Copy Share Image
When I was 13 and 14, there were a lot of jokes about my bar mitzvah and my grandparents, and then when… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
He's managed to make himself something highly unusual for a man at this stage of his career: unclassifiable. Unpredictable. Tom Jones is… — Ken Tucker Copy Share Image
'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put… — Ziggy Marley Copy Share Image
An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the… — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
The most important thing in comedy - apart from empathy, which I think is important even if disguised - is surprise. I… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
I do a lot of public speaking and presentations and I'll always start with a self-deprecating joke to make everybody feel comfortable… — Warwick Davis Copy Share Image
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say don't and if he touches your pussy say stop? Girl: But mom, he touched… — Unkown Copy Share Image
When I watch a comedy that's just hitting you over the head with jokes constantly, some really hit, but if they miss,… — David Walton Copy Share Image
I like the sound of my voice, doesn't mean it's any good but I like it. The joke is that "all good… — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
Sometimes I can't think of a better way to end my day than coming home and just strumming my ukulele for a… — Jake Shimabukuro Copy Share Image
I learnt that fame is an illusion and everything about it is just a joke. I'm far more dangerous now, because I… — Joe Strummer Copy Share Image
Listen up. You're in trouble. Word is the Capitol's furious about you showing them up in the arena. The one thing they… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time,… — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
I'm excited for the new crop of gay comics who have never been closeted, who never thought that they needed to put… — Guy Branum Copy Share Image
Jack Benny, Fred Allen. Their jokes were wonderful. It takes skill to be funny. The timing of Jack Benny was so fine.… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
If people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, 'Look, [Kanye West] called me… — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
I was always Armie. There couldn't be a 90-year-old Armand and a 9-day-old one. And I heard enough jokes about baking soda. — Armie Hammer Copy Share Image
“Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties:… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
The whole experience of doing a sitcom is... Telling jokes with such precision is really exciting, but it's also terrifying. — Lea Thompson Copy Share Image
My best friend is disabled. There's nothing he hates more than being left out of the jokes, to be treated with kid… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
The idea of beetles came into my head. I decided to spell it BEATles to make it look like beat music, just… — John Lennon Copy Share Image
Theres no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“If people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, 'Look, [Kanye West] called me and told me the line before it came out. Like, joke's on you guys, we're fine'.” quote by Taylor Swift](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/336/taylor-swift-125_ask-me_if-people-ask-me-about-it-i-think-it-wou_230259.jpg)
