A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before. — Frank Dane Copy Share Image
This is why Jessica Biel is a successful actress: because, despite the punchlines, you know how to tell a joke. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts. — Phoebe Waller-Bridge Copy Share Image
I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before. — Doug Larson Copy Share Image
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you… — John Krasinski Copy Share Image
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
For generations comedians have made jokes about Scots-Irish in the South inter-breeding. "I am my own grandpa" and all that stuff; you… — Ishmael Reed Copy Share Image
I personally don't feel any pressure to make jokes about multiple baby-fathers and stereotypical black jokes, because one, that's just not my… — Issa Rae Copy Share Image
The moment I do any puppy dog acting, I think the joke is dead. It's in the truth of how I play… — Jason Gann Copy Share Image
My comedy is my life turned into jokes. I think a lot of people wouldn't like that because you end up talking… — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite… — Octavio Paz Copy Share Image
Leo: "So...giants who can throw mountains. Friendly wolves that will eat us if we show weakness. Evil espresso drinks. Gotcha. Maybe this… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I think the nerves aspect is a bit of a joke. How hard can it be to walk up and down in… — Edie Campbell Copy Share Image
It is a good plan, with a young person of a character to be much affected by ludicrous and absurd representations, to… — Richard Whately Copy Share Image
The why is what makes journalism an adult game. The why is what makes policy coherent and useful. The why is what… — David Simon Copy Share Image
A lot of the turning points happen in high school and in college, and it defines a lot of how you see… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I made this bad joke on Twitter saying, "I want to put in my first no-bid contract to train the Libyan army… — Michael Hastings Copy Share Image
“I am not perfect, but if I looked perfect to everyone I must have been rocking imperfect perfectly to a few imperfect… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
![“I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts.” quote by Phoebe Waller-Bridge](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/4dc/phoebe-waller-bridge-8068_happens_i-suppose-every-time-something-bad-happe_858100.jpg)
![“The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love.” quote by Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/f29/octavio-paz-1790_caress_the-mexican-is-familiar-with-death-he-jo_1900840.jpg)
