You can dissect a joke just as you can a frog. But it tends to die on you. — E. B. White Copy Share Image
If my jokes offend you: 1. Im sorry. 2. It wont happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. and 4. get over it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See? — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“Now that I had assigned myself an act without jokes, I gave myself a rule. Never let them know I was bombing” — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt. — Bobby Farrelly Copy Share Image
Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke. — Berkeley Breathed Copy Share Image
Whenever I realize I'm being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect… — Billy Gardell Copy Share Image
I'm just not the outgoing bubble of energy. But if I know you, it's different. Practical jokes. Have fun. I'm not looking… — Eric Dickerson Copy Share Image
There has to be irony, both in design and in the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything… — Achille Castiglioni Copy Share Image
Pain is beyond reason, an obliterating giant stupidity to which all your history of jokes and nuance and ideas and caresses is… — Glen Duncan Copy Share Image
As you go on you realize "Okay I know how to get laughs but am I saying things I want to say?… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
Friends are everything. They're people you can tell anything to, do fun stuff with, laugh at the same jokes with, who understand… — Randi Reisfeld Copy Share Image
I had a capitalist try to explain capitalism to me, so I said I will show you what a capitalist is, I… — Jeremy Limn Copy Share Image
I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It's not… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
What are you reading?" Owen asks. "Charlotte's Web," Liz says. "It's really sad. One of the main characters just died." "You ought… — Gabrielle Zevin Copy Share Image
I started to make a joke that I had an imaginary friend underneath the let-out couch named Binky. I would never talk… — Keke Palmer Copy Share Image
It's always been the same for me. I've always enjoyed acting, and I really love good actors; they're such unique characters. I… — Val Kilmer Copy Share Image
I was one of those kids who liked a lot of attention. I was always the kid in class who'd be telling… — Lauren Worsham Copy Share Image
I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One of the things that got me thinking during therapy is that they say that fear is only thoughts, and nothing will… — Lars von Trier Copy Share Image
Nigerians are everywhere. There's an old joke, particularly about the Ibos, that when you finally land on Mars, you're going to find… — Chris Abani Copy Share Image
Every time there's a cut in the action, we joke and dance around, there's show tunes and fart noises. — Darby Stanchfield Copy Share Image
“Jokes don't matter… til the performance... if the performance is horrible so do and jokes.” — Deyth Banger Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog. — Gary Delaney Copy Share Image
The girl-next-door image is a sort of joke; for years, I couldnt get any roles other than as somebody dark. — Felicity Kendal Copy Share Image
We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law. — Russ Feingold Copy Share Image
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Let's never be stupid again. WAIT! Lets always be stupid! Forever! — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I wanted to change the world . But I could not even change my underwear. — John Grant Copy Share Image
Jokes are generally honest. Complete solemnity is always dishonest. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Even if its a white crowd, I tell my jokes for the four black people in the room, not the 100 whites. — Gary Owen Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't really want to tell jokes about trivia; I'd kind of rather tell jokes about things like life and death. — David Shrigley Copy Share Image
![“I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like a whole new world." Instead of writing Michael Jackson one-glove jokes, all I had to do was go to these weird places and keep my eyes and ears open.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/1cd/p-j-o-rourke-184_christ_i-had-really-not-been-out-of-the-united_1112120.png)
