I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I've found great virtue in two-thirds of the way into the message; right before I'm really want to nail home a point,… — Max Lucado Copy Share Image
I'm like a bumper car. When I did an infomercial I was fodder for every TV comedy show. I couldn't get a… — Cher Copy Share Image
On the Internet, Spencer Hall at Everyday Should Be Saturday is the best writer in the universe. He's very funny. They're jokes… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
When you're young and you first see the extent and depth of the world's hypocrisy, it's fun to go after it. But… — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and… — Anne Frank Copy Share Image
You know lots of criticism is written by characters who are very academic and think it is a sign you are worthless… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
It's so funny that people think I actually ran for President. I am maybe the most un-political person you're ever going to… — Alice Cooper Copy Share Image
I'm really going off of watching John Waters speak one time and I remember he just kind of talked and it was… — Kathleen Hanna Copy Share Image
There is a sensuousness to language, there's a pace to it. There's a deliciousness to it. I do have pleasure when I'm… — Jonathan Santlofer Copy Share Image
My general approach to writing fiction is that you try to have as few conceptual notions as possible and you just respond… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
Surfing is kind of a good metaphor for the rest of life. The extremely good stuff - chocolate and great sex and… — Jaimal Yogis Copy Share Image
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke.… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
My friend Myron tells me, 'Last year on Mother's Day the whole family got together for a big dinner and afterward, when… — Joey Adams Copy Share Image
A form of intellectual productiveness, therein lies its peculiar charm. Intellectual productiveness is one of the greatest joys - if not the… — Siegbert Tarrasch Copy Share Image
“telling the jokes—was the setups. Why were that priest, that rabbi, and that minister walking down that street? Where were they headed?… — Donald E. Westlake Copy Share Image
“Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about… — Bridget Zinn Copy Share Image
But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from dates and wash the dishes, I would… — Judy Blundell Copy Share Image
I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
There are elements of that, where you'll see a scene again and you'll recognize it, but I wouldn't say it's got one… — Mitchell Hurwitz Copy Share Image
One day... A nude guy was sunbathing on a beach... He has no clothes at all and there came this little girl… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch… — Mike Epps Copy Share Image
The difficulty in the way of writing a children's play is that Barrie was born too soon. Many people must have felt… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Perhaps there can be too much making of cups of tea, I thought, as I watched Miss Statham filling the heavy teapot.… — Barbara Pym Copy Share Image
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
In his recent book, When Brute Force Fails, UCLA's Kleiman argues that new strategies for targeting repeat offenders--including reforms to make probation… — David Von Drehle Copy Share Image
Republican candidate George Pataki said his dogs would give him the best endorsement for becoming our next president. Until they hear Chris… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny because people tell me I… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about.… — Ben Domenech Copy Share Image
I don't care if my opinion falls on the right or the left. I'm more of what I call a passionate centrist.… — Larry Wilmore Copy Share Image
I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
By giving women training to sue a company for a 'hostile environment' if someone tells a dirty joke, we are training women… — Warren Farrell Copy Share Image
I would love to be able to play anywhere, but to me the sweet spot is clubs and theaters, just because I… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
Either over neither, both over either/or, live-and-let-live over stand-or die, high spirits over low, energy over apathy, wit over dullness, jokes over… — Marvin Mudrick Copy Share Image
One starts gambling for a joke, out of curiosity, as a little challenge to fortune. One goes on, pricked to the quick… — Matilde Serao Copy Share Image
![“Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.” quote by Ben Domenech](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/738/ben-domenech-4128_comedy_few-years-ago-donald-trump-was-being-roa_2024225.jpg)
