Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
There are artists with palettes and easels selling the kind of modern art that Soviet art critics used to critique with bulldozers.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Frankly, I've worked my whole life to not be adorable with only limited success, and two adorable people dating is waaaay too… — Hank Green Copy Share Image
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Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
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The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“It is a tedious cliché (and, unlike many clichés, it isn't even true) that science concerns itself with how questions, but only… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
“That scientifically savvy philosopher Daniel Dennett pointed out that evolution counters one of the oldest ideas we have: 'the idea that it… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“To-day well, my Utopia, if ever I framed one, would be a land where the laws demanded that people should be vicious.… — Edward Verrall Lucas Copy Share Image
“You don't even know if she really likes you, Oberon said as we exited and I unlocked my bike. She could be… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
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I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily… — Mae West Copy Share Image
The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Am I higher or lower than she? It was always the vital question for Anna: who was superior, and how she could… — Laura L. Sullivan Copy Share Image
I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The essence of success is that it is never necessary to think of a new idea oneself. It is far better to… — Aubrey Menen Copy Share Image
My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like… — Steve Buscemi Copy Share Image
There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous… — Mose Allison Copy Share Image
I love the very exposed, humorous, imperfect, never-trying to-pretend-to-be-perfect journey that I have been on in my life. — Drew Barrymore Copy Share Image
And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts... Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes… — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
“Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked in poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.” — Julio-Alexi Genao Copy Share Image
“Count Duchamps: It's a wonder he didn't clank when he [Jim West] when he walked. (referring to all of Jim's gadgets and… — Wild Wild West TV Copy Share Image
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Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's… — Tommy Douglas Copy Share Image
Let me remind you that this is God's universe, and He is doing things His way. You may think you have a… — J. Vernon McGee Copy Share Image
“Fighting with tangles, fighting with curls, the poor barber yanked, the poor barber pulled, until with one last effort (and to the… — Mili Fay Copy Share Image
The problem with at-home IQ tests is that too many people wouldn't understand the results. Calling customer service is a bad sign. — Iimani David Copy Share Image
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A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like assembly except that it isn't very much like either one,… — Raymond Simard Copy Share Image
My childhood memories of my grandparents are of a wonderful, complementary couple. While my grandfather had a spirited, humorous personality, my grandmother… — Kristina McMorris Copy Share Image
Maybe there'll be a simple, innocent explanation. I don't think so, because I think we would have offered that up already. — Mike McCurry Copy Share Image
There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm… — Randy Pausch Copy Share Image
In addition I had real and serious questions about an independent counsel investigation that began with private business dealings twenty years ago — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
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One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
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![“Count Duchamps: It's a wonder he didn't clank when he [Jim West] when he walked. (referring to all of Jim's gadgets and weaponry) Wild Wild West (TV) Season 1 Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo” quote by Wild Wild West TV](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/d2b/wild-wild-west-tv-61946_humorous_count-duchamps-it-s-a-wonder-he-didn-t-c_2991275.jpg)
