There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“...but once more I say do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our… — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
“Any idea why there is a giant penis made out of snow in our front yard?" Instead of an answer, I was… — K.C. Beaumont Copy Share Image
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece… — Axl Rose Copy Share Image
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sometimes, I think the best kind of poem is one in which there is an acute balance between what is humorous and… — N. Scott Momaday Copy Share Image
If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Graham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace.… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
In London there was no home cooking worthy of the name. When you were in funds you ate out. But only the… — Clive James Copy Share Image
“I'm pretty well. So's the family, and so's the boys, except for a sort of rash as is a running through the… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Buy potatoes,” he said. “Gotta hop.” Then he hung up. Of course. A cloud of fallout would threaten European food and water… — Michael Lewis Copy Share Image
“Thanks,” I muttered and added under my breath, “Douchebag.” He laughed, deep and throaty. “Now that’s not very ladylike, Kittycat.” I whipped… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“There is a safety mechanism in place [to ensure the perambulator doesn't turn back into a purse with a baby in it]… — Lev A.C. Rosen Copy Share Image
College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back… — Mae West Copy Share Image
“Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who… — Mari Donne Copy Share Image
“Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!” — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both… — Kaye Chambers Copy Share Image
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at the… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Though philosophers like to define poetry as irrational fancy, for us it is practical, humorous, reasonable way of being ourselves. — Robert Graves Copy Share Image
“I'd spent five minutes looking at Twitter once and felt I'd wandered into a poker game where everyone immediately displayed their hands… — Jeff Abbott Copy Share Image
“He’s an even-tempered stallion. What he lacks in stamina he makes up for in speed, kind of like most of the men… — Lila Shaw Copy Share Image
“There's something to be said about drinking a carafe of wine by yourself ... I just can't remember at the moment what… — Gerard de Marigny Copy Share Image
“It's just going to add to him thinking that I am a crazy, wanky, greenie, hybriddriving hippie," I complained. "Has he seen… — Sean Kennedy Copy Share Image
“michelle would get picked up and bang someone anonymous stud in the bathroom, and i would sip my drink wishing i could… — Marata Eros Copy Share Image
“Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won’t sparkle in… — Nick Shamhart Copy Share Image
He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give… — Randy Glasbergen Copy Share Image
My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Eventually I would like to touch all the genres. I would like to do some detective stories, and I want to do… — Sergio Aragones Copy Share Image
The Japanese, implementing a complex, long-term, and ultimately successful strategy to dominate the U S consumer-electronics market, attacked Pearl Harbor. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“There is a safety mechanism in place [to ensure the perambulator doesn't turn back into a purse with a baby in it] : if anything weighing more than a pound and a half-about the weight of a three-volume novel-is in the carriage of the perambulator, it will not transform.” quote by Lev A.C. Rosen](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/801/lev-a-c-rosen-43522_humorous_there-is-a-safety-mechanism-in-place-to_937560.jpg)
![“Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!” quote by J.K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/6ec/j-k-rowling-86_harry_ron-mimicking-hermione-it-s-levi-ooooh-s_1961549.png)
