Newtons third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I just tripped over a pair of shoes and almost fell down and broke my neck and no I wasn't wearing them.” — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“I'm a devil at a quick mistake, and when I make one it takes the form of Lead.” — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
If a President of the United States ever lied to the American people he should resign. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, “Morning breath!” — Melissa Aragon Copy Share Image
In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“If you can't beat them and don't care to join them, Then " FU*K THEM".” — Katraina L Flowers Copy Share Image
In my creative films, if there was something, some humorous moment that is lost to a non-Korean speaking audience, I'll be very… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
“Livvy and me together in an elevator for four hours..and we're good. To some eyes the fact that we're both alive could… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit… — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“Of course, you won't confirm or deny it, which means I'm probably right, since if I was wrong, you'd be gloating about… — Keith R.A. DeCandido Copy Share Image
It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and the cigarette were placed on prescription. — Malcolm Potts Copy Share Image
There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to… — Henry A. Kissinger Copy Share Image
“The first sign that Karma was now in cahoots with the Devil Incarnate to ruin her existance should've been before sunrise and… — Kelly Moran Copy Share Image
The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. And I tend to get… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“It’s alright, Kitten,” Bones said. “He won’t shoot.” Tate lowered his gun, even as the sudden dizziness from blood-loss made me sway.… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“What's your name?" "What?" I asked, squinting at the light. "Your name." I recognized Dr. Olendzki peering over me. "You know my… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“The beauty of the ultrasound scan is something that only parents can appreciate, but Emma had seen these things before and knew… — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
“Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sargent Colon worked all… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Considering that "literary fiction" is a sub-genre that's not quite the same as "literature," either, it follows that the short, semi-humorous bits… — Lee Klein Copy Share Image
“True...I hear voices in my head keep talking to me. The good thing for now is...I never answer them back.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long. — Rich Hall Copy Share Image
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
That fellow seems to me to possess but one idea, and that is a wrong one. — Samuel Johnson Copy Share Image
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People are your most valuable asset. Only people can be made to appreciate in value. — Stephen Covey Copy Share Image
“This must be the most embarrassing moment in my life. I am glad I am too ill to appreciate it fully.” — Janet Mullany Copy Share Image
The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride"... — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
“Time flies when you're falling down"...(not from a book, it's a lyric)” — Courtney Love Copy Share Image
Fathers should teach their sons how to earn money because mothers teach their daughters how to spend it. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
