Girls don't try to trick me with makeup. It's a waste of both our time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A surprise party is a great way to show your wife how awesome you are at lying to her face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On one thing, at least, men & women both agree: They both distrust women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is achieved when silence between two people is comfortable; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DO NOT ask her to send you a picture. Girls hate that shit. If she likes you enough she'll do it on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a rite which a clergyman should perform at no charge -- don't they say that you shouldn't profit by other… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Girls over 21 have been through so much drama. All you gotta do is hold the door open for her and she… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIED MAN, a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: I'll be right out — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A ceremony favoured in England -- it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A sneeze is like a little orgasm. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and think about your twitter crush. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A word which always means commitment -- but so does insanity; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My road to success is blocked by a huge rocks obstacle with a big sign that says 'Twitter.com' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Cross-eyed girls are hard to sneak around on, their always keeping a fucking eye on you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a female hypochondriac marries a pill; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's no place like home. Especially when we're talking about The best place to take a shit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is only compatible when the man makes a living and his wife makes living worthwhile; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The continuous process of getting used to things you never expected; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They named it Twitter because Licking each other dirty asses was too long. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
These people are harassing me badly, they said they'll cut…… if I don't pay my phone bill on time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, That ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An event which is called tying the knot -- unfortunately, the knot can be a noose; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't believe it's already ummm yeah whatever month of the whatever year this is! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can't blame on the government; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
