Facebook Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 22

HUSBAND, A man who has one mistake in his existence -- and keeps learning from it all his life;

— Nikhil Saluja

My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

If youre protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then I want to date you

— Nikhil Saluja

The sight of a womans cleavage reduces a mans ability to think clearly by 50%…per boob.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIED MAN, a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: I'll be right out

— Nikhil Saluja

You can always win an argument with a lady during your last few minutes of your life by telling her that she's…

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that no matter how much I care,some people are just assholes.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, Someone who is too beautiful for words -- but not for arguments;

— Nikhil Saluja

You are honorable... when you find your honor is to honor others.

— Nikhil Saluja

The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks... So now I have to sit down when I…

— Nikhil Saluja

I would like to open a restaurant, call it the Marilyn Monroe Café, and put hundreds of pictures of Jeff Goldblum on…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A ceremony favoured in England -- it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating;

— Nikhil Saluja

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, An action that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business.

— Nikhil Saluja

We all have have that person in our life, we can't live without.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a female hypochondriac marries a pill;

— Nikhil Saluja

Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman… Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men!

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer;

— Nikhil Saluja

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

PARTNERSHIP, A legal fiction exactly like marriage, but without the major benefits

— Nikhil Saluja

It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed.

— Nikhil Saluja

Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first.

— Nikhil Saluja

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

— Nikhil Saluja

PRAISE, Something which, if directed to your wife, will lighten your marriage -- even if it frightens her at first.

— Nikhil Saluja

Math: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance;

— Nikhil Saluja

Every year, I start to realize how stupid I was the year before.

— Nikhil Saluja

I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't have anger issues, I have issues with idiots who make me angry.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

— Nikhil Saluja

That moment when you have to beg yourself to stop crying and tell yourself, 'Be Strong'

— Nikhil Saluja

Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women over 200 pounds with a visible thong should have to register as sex offenders.

— Nikhil Saluja

Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.

— Nikhil Saluja

Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain.

— Nikhil Saluja

Site Engineer is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

— Nikhil Saluja

Using Viagra to masturbate is a hardest time in every man's life...

— Nikhil Saluja

On one thing, at least, men & women both agree: They both distrust women.

— Nikhil Saluja