“A brick could be used to crush the dreams of the little guy. Especially if that little guy’s dreams are roach like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In my dream, the passenger seat of my car was a toilet. I guess I was on my way to pick up… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In my dream I woke up to realize I was tired and needed to go to sleep. Then I slowly remembered that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a barometer of love. Give it to the girl of your dreams, and see if she uses it to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I rode the night mare like a bad dream. I rode with no saddle and a midget on my back (the midget… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I used to swim and dream of having a few Olympic gold medals to my name. But that’s out of the question… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve got a piece of the American Dream. I don’t have a house, but I do have a new chandelier. Now I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You said you were leaving me, and I said, “When are you coming back?” You said,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were playing table tennis, which angered my family because they were trying to enjoy their… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We started a shoe company, and a competitor (probably someone from Nike) attacked you,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We went for a ride—you on all fours, and me on your back, and you didn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dreams have wings. But not soaring eagle wings, more like the wings of a butterfly—colorful and easily ripped off. The last… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It is possible to be in two dreams at once. If I dream about you, and you are asleep at the time,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. Knowing that women like to buy two things above all else, shoes and purses, I combined… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you where you were an economic hero. So is the real life you like the dream you?… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dream as a boy was to write a coloring book, but the nagging problem was always, How do you write a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. Flowers were overflowing in the cemetery, so we decided to have a picnic there. You brought… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We picked up where we left off, with leftovers, and I said this was the best… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn’t compare to the balanced vision my writing presents. In fact, noted linguist… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You told me you circled three words in three books scattered in the Library of Alexandria,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were crying, and your tears were so salty I decided to collect your sadness to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I asked you out to coffee, and you said, “No thanks. I’m a recovering insomniac.” I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t collect awards, I collect empty trophy cases. Once my collection is large enough, I’m going to start collecting broken dreams.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream where I lost Cap’n among the hundreds of black and white cats and they all looked nearly identical… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make it harder for people to achieve their dreams. A brick is just another obstacle they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to meet the girl of my dreams, and then immediately try to sleep with her—for between six to eight hours.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I could be the man of your dreams. I could also be the alarm clock, stealing you away from the man of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The woman of my dreams was tired. The woman of my dreams always lets me sleep in. The woman of my dreams… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If the man of your dreams existed in two dimensions only, would you try to print duplicates of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love with my eyes closed, because I make love in my dreams. If you wanted to go for seconds, we… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The door handle is on the wrong side of the door. It’s on the inside only, only in my dreams. I can… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Life is made up of only one thing: the now. The past and the future could be considered dreams, if only they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The girl of my dreams got married to someone else. But that’s OK. I don’t need her beside me to keep her… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make all your dreams come true. Well, not all of them. Just the ones that are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream my house was on fire, and I tried to rescue all the cats—and none of the politicians. You… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dream dialogue: -Don’t cry. I, too, know what it’s like to be different. -But I’m not different. I’m normal, I’m average, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream where I drank my own grandma. What she was doing disguised as a bottle of booze isn’t entirely… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
