“Of course my clone will be handsome. He’ll look exactly like my other clone, won’t he?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you had a clone, I wouldn’t care which one of you two I dated. It’d be the same thing to me,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Feel free to become a slave to your own clone. And mine. Remember, you can never have too many lovers who look… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What if a statue of me walked past my clone frozen in thought? Which one of the two would make a better… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Can you ever really say you know anybody—your clone included? Still, if my clone’s birthday were coming up, I’d only shop Buy… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My name is Sam (my name is Am), and I am my own fan. I’m a clone of Jarod Kintz, and he… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I give you an historical reference, am I dating myself? No, because the only way I could date myself is if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a murderer. I killed the conversation. She said she loved me, and I said, “If you love me, wait until you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Knowing where you come from is just as important as knowing who you aren’t. You aren’t your own clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you had a clone, and you weren’t wearing perfume and your clone was, I’d automatically think your clone was more attractive.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll make fun of him, but I’ll call him Him, because if I use his name I’ll immortalize him. After all, who… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m going to spend a lifetime being me, so I’d better like who I am as a person. My clone better like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s not gay to jack off, so how could it be gay to give your clone a handjob? If anything, it’s on-the-job… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to win an award that doesn’t exist yet. Well, I want my clone to win it, and that’s almost the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The first man to successfully clone himself deserves to pat himself on the back. And then give himself a back massage.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I object to that object that’s made of bronze and shaped like my clone. It should be made of gold, and shaped… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I mean is I’m not writing it, my clone is.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Writing all day every day is good, but it’s not good enough. You need to have your clone ghostwriting for you too.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
