Bartender Quote by W. C. Fields

“I guess a case of nerves could survive even death”

— Tara Hudson

Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.

— W. C. Fields

Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a…

— Chip Kidd

Hell, if I didn't do stunts, I'd have had to be a bartender, or something else that didn't pay well.

— Hal Needham

I've had a lot of glamour come my way in the last 10 years - you know, movie stars and mansions and red carpets…

— Anonymous

Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for…

— Ernest Hemingway

You know you're in trouble, when the bartender cries.

— Michael Peterson

“The only people who ask questions like ‘Did he want to be something besides a bartender?’ are people who can become whatever they want.…

— Dennis Lehane

Women, you overheated dipsomaniacs, never passing up a chance to wangle a drink, a great boon to bartenders but a bane to us--not to…

— Aristophanes

“As the bartender struck a match to light her cigarette, she put her hand on his wrist to steady it. Travis saw him jump,…

— Cornell Woolrich

Why don´t you go back to bartender´s school and take a college course in shut-up? [On being reminded of his age by kelsey].

— Archie Bunker

“seal. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A baseball walks…

— Various