““Changing our behavior purely for the sake of appearances may seem to conflict with the need to be authentic and consistent, but in many ways it is actually a result of those needs. After all, resolving the tension between standing out from the crowd and becoming isolated requires finding our niche in the world. But what would happen if we weren’t accepted in the place where we felt we belonged? For others to see us as a “poseur” or as “delusional” would be painful. Even worse, what if they were right? The social consequences and self-doubt that follow when our self-perceptions conflict with how others see us can be just as destabilizing to our identity as conflicts between our own self-perceptions and actions.””
![“Our personal identities are socially situated. We are where we live, eat, work, and make love. [...] Our sense of identity is in large measure conferred on us by others in the ways they treat or mistreat us, recognize or ignore us, praise us or punish us. Some people make us timid and shy; others…” quote by Philip G. Zimbardo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/130/philip-g-zimbardo-46937_identity_our-personal-identities-are-socially-sit_2665083.jpg)
