Funny Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “My fake plants died because I forgot to water them” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.7 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Gardening
“I think you need to water your plants," Garrett [Swopes, PI]called out to me [Charley Davidson, Grim Reaper and PI]. "Oh, they're fake." He… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am a gardener, I have a big green thumb, and I can take care of these plants really easily because they are all… — Liza Koshy Copy Share Image
When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I have no plants in my house. They won't live for me. Some of them don't even wait to die, they commit suicide. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Plants are tricky. Many are edible, but one false mouthful and your dead — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
When I used to be away, I'd call up home and remind my family members to water my plants. — Sanjay Mishra Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
