Cows Quote by Mitch Hedberg

“Dear God!” I screamed and buried my face in my pillow. “What?!” I heard him ask. “Did you see a roach?” “Why are you…

— Wendy Higgins

I said, "I'll take the T-bone steak." A soft voice mooed, "Oh wow." And I looked up and realized The waitress was a cow.…

— Shel Silverstein

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?'…

— Anonymous

“Anecdotal Spores: The Crazy Uncle Late one cold and drizzly winter night while I was traveling through the mountains, I stopped in a roadside…

— Matt Hughes

I was at a bar, and this guy bumped into me, and he did not apologize, and he said, "Move!" I thought that was…

— Mitch Hedberg

“Oh,” Lauren added, “and to make my life even more perfect, this idiot boy—the dude who was at the dining-table when you dropped me…

— Robert Muchamore

“Some time in the night I woke, and the barn was full of cows: they stood in a circle and looked us over, and…

— Sarah Waters

I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you…

— Chic Murray

“After the waitress left, I rounded on him. “what, can’t I eat food?” “you could. Probably five or six whole bites before you had…

— Kalayna Price

“This caveman just made your panties wet with a kiss, and you’re the only item on the menu that I want to dine on.”…

— Amelia Hutchins

“I cut off a piece of meatball dripping with sauce. I tried to make my face right. I tried to smile and not grimace,…

— Jenny Valentine

I went through the fields, and sat for an hour afraid to pass a cow. The cow looked at me, and I looked at…

— Dorothy Wordsworth