Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image ““I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.9 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“I used to do drugs, but don't tell anyone because it'll ruin my image.” — Courtney Love Copy Share Image
“Mom. He didn't do drugs. I've told you that before. He was just weird.” — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
“But you were like a drug. When I was high on you, nothing else mattered.” — Jill Santopolo Copy Share Image
“My drug was wanderlust. I got high by starting over. We always had a drug. We could replace one with another, but humans were… — Tarryn Fisher Copy Share Image
“He was like a drug and what did you do with drugs You pushed them as far away as possible.” — Colleen Houck Copy Share Image
“Also, people who did drugs were boring. Hopelessly, relentlessly boring. Drugs made them either too slow or too fast, and mostly they talked about… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
