Hey Quote by Emo Philips

“Sex is logically impossible after marriage. You have to overcome the paradox of Not this again, and Hey, where did you learn that?”

Emo Philips

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.8 out of 5 (3 ratings)

Hey Impossible Marriage Overcoming Paradox Sex

More by Emo Philips

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed…

Emo Philips

Image

I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!

Emo Philips

Image

Libertarians believe consenting adults have the right to do whatever they choose, except band together.

Emo Philips

Image

I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass…

Emo Philips

Image

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

Emo Philips

Image

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Emo Philips

Image

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."…

Emo Philips

Image

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off…

Emo Philips

Image

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember,…

Emo Philips

Image

If you're worth over $50m you should have to dress like that guy on the Monopoly box. The super-rich shouldn't get all the benefits…

Emo Philips

Image

Race is still somewhat of a taboo in comedy. But if you're a minority, then you can make fun of your own minority. And…

Emo Philips

Image

I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.

Emo Philips

Image

Explore all 208 Emo Philips quotes

More Hey quotes

In the middle of a play, I go crazy and don't realize what I'm doing. I'll snap back to reality and I realize, 'Hey,…

Brian Bosworth

Image

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death.…

Richard Jeni

Image

I'm neurotic in the sense that I can have a crowd of 300 people cheering you, applauding you, standing O, but one guy come…

Wayne White

Image

Do you know what it is sir? Do you know what the Dance Dance Revolution is? It's not an actual revolution, so you don't…

Russell Peters

Image

An established film director can just pick up the phone and say to a star, 'Hey, are you interested in doing a commercial?'

Tony Scott

Image

Hey Sydney," she said, giving me a small, crooked smile as she entered the room. Her flashing, dark eyes were friendly, but they were…

Richelle Mead

Image

Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody…

Tina Fey

Image

I'm not the guy who will sit in a room with somebody who's using a bunch of big words and just act like I…

Mark Wahlberg

Image

I think that if you run a big company, you've got to, four or five times a year, just say, 'Hey team, look, here's…

Jeffrey R. Immelt

Image

People are strange. We're all morticians. Hey, what's on TV?

Ric Ocasek

Image

When you get older, you learn certain life lessons. You apply that wisdom, and suddenly you say, 'Hey, I've got a new lease on…

Robert Redford

Image

Hey, maybe instead of going to college, you should drop out and I could quit my job and we can form an all-girl band…

Daniel Palladino

Image

Browse all 1,723 Hey quotes

Hey Quote by Emo Philips

Related quotes

More by Emo Philips

More Hey quotes